Relationships

The Importance of Love by Jane Merrow

Posted on by James North

This year is the 50th anniversary of ‘The Summer of Love’ festival, celebrated in San Francisco. But times have changed in the Western world since the festival began. The hippies have been supplanted by yuppies and the openhearted generous message of hope, seems to have been transformed into a more cynical, selfish, ‘what’s in it for me’ ideal, with people retreating behind the walls of money and technology. Love really is the one dynamic emotion that glues human culture, our humanity, together. Without it our world and we, who live in it, are nothing. We can be side tracked by money, power, religion, etc. But all the seductive messages that entice us are, without love, meaningless in the end.

I am an actress who has been fortunate to have a long and productive career. Back in the early days of BBC TV, when we were working in amazing dramas, almost non-stop, I played Julia in a BBC production of Orwell’s ‘1984’. The scene that resonated most for me is when Julia smuggles the note to Winston, which says quite simply, ‘I love you’. Orwell ‘got’ the dystopian society that seems to loom in our future. It is no accident that love fills most of our finest literature, plays, films, and music. Its enduring presence has inspired the greatest artists, writers, composers…all the creative minds.

In a world of increasing isolation where so many of us live in fear, in gated communities, worried about walking the streets, a terrorist attack, suffering online bullying, unable to talk to people, too busy to sit down and have a real conversation, love seems to be getting lost. We hear about children self-harming, old and disabled people who are shuffled into homes, lonely and unhappy, displaced people, and refugees, the list goes on. Humanity seems to have lost its way and forgotten about the power of love. You may say, ‘what’s different? We have seen it all before.’ Modern technology, however, is exacerbating the situation. When presidents are elected by social media; when love affairs are conducted through text messaging, which becomes nothing but quick, mindless coupling, without love, we need to stop and think. We must find each other as fellow human beings again, and very soon, before this kind of disengagement becomes the norm.

Hope for the Future

I am an optimist. I believe love is not lost forever, just misplaced. We will come to our senses and reach out to each other properly as fellow human beings. A world of carelessness, selfishness and indifferent communication cannot survive in the long run. The word love is not a sound bite, a “message” on Facebook, or a tweet. It is a deep and complex emotion, part of our DNA. As such, we must let the ‘Summer of Love’ return and remind us all of its importance in our lives.

About the Author:

Jane Merrow is a classically trained, Golden Globe nominated actress, trained at the Royal Academy of Dramatic Art. She has had a variety of roles in television, film and on stage. She has had starring roles in movies such as The System (U.S. title – The Girl Getters) opposite Oliver Reed. She played Alais in the film The Lion in Winter, co-starring with Peter O’Toole, Katharine Hepburn and Anthony Hopkins, which earned her a Golden Globe nomination as Best Supporting Actress. Her recent films include Almosting It, opposite Lee Majors. In 2016 she appeared as Lady Macbeth on stage at the Groundlings Theatre, Portsmouth, U.K.”

In addition to acting, in 1995 Jane began writing and producing for television and feature films. She co-executive produced The Inspector Pitt Mysteries for A&E and ITV and developed three feature film productions with screenplays by David Seidler, Julian Fellowes and the Reunion by John Caine, OBE. In 2009 she began production on New Chilling Tales, a continuing series of short Gothic films, adapted from the great classic writers. In 2015 she wrote, produced and appeared in Cougar, a short film, which won awards at several U.S. festivals.

Links:

Websites: https://www.janemerrow.com

https://www.newchillingtales.com

http://www.reunion-the-film.com

IMDb: http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0581457/

LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/jane-merrow-5842a616/

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/seejaneact

Twitter: @janemerrow

Disclaimer: The views and opinions expressed in guest blog posts do not reflect those of the blog host.

Do We No Longer Know How Much Is Enough? by James North

Posted on by James North

James North

As baby boomers, many of us were admonished throughout our adolescent years and then as adults to plan and save for the future in order to be able to stand on our own two feet. I translated this to mean, if you are able, you must work hard and provide for your own future—your own security. That advice seemed quite sanguine and occasionally proved its worth by the things that happened to people around me that left them struggling, without enough. Nevertheless, for many, if not most of us, these admonitions often went unheeded, particularly in our adolescent years and sometimes into early adult life. So if the words, “live like there is no tomorrow”, or “live life to the fullest” spring from the past and are echoing inside your head about now, you know what I mean.

Despite these epic and often short-lived “devil-may-care” episodic attitudes, most of us baby boomers, and no doubt a good many Generation Xers, can recall the excitement of our first job. It was an opportunity. The money was usually “small potatoes” and getting it was frequently the result of a newspaper route, a part-time job at a local market, yard work for a neighbor or a summer job that involved more physical, backbreaking stuff. Still, we earned it and the feeling of entitlement to things we wanted were inextricably linked to those earnings. Putting in our share or buying it outright were the only ways we got the things we wanted. We were content, at least until we were struck by the desire to have something else. For me, having money I earned in my pocket created a sense of pride. It was to some extent, freedom. I earned it, so I’ll do as I please with it!

I reflect on those things and make the following observations because today in the developed world the concepts of having enough and what I call excess surplus (hoarding) have merged and are now conjoined with unwarranted expectation and a sense of entitlement—the belief that the things we want can be acquired with minimal work and sacrifice, or no work at all. This disturbing phenomenon has been evolving and observably on the rise for several decades. It now appears to be growing at a quickening pace—spreading a toxic cloud that is raining poison on our values, threatening to condemn mankind to a moribund state.

As we watch, we see the abandonment of important concepts and the blurring of lines between that which we as human beings have long judged as good or evil, honorable or dishonorable. We can find many examples of this skewing of distinction, particularly if we look at the way in which opportunity and opportunism have become all but synonymous in their interpretation and acceptance. Frightfully, the latter is now tolerated behavior. In fact, it is not only accepted, it is expected. It is seen at nearly every level of human interaction—within families, schools, universities, social circles, in the work place and increasingly among countries.

The question is, how do we put human beings and humanity back on a safer track and stop the world from descending into an abysmal place—a heartless, uncaring, greed-filled, unsympathetic and egregious place, without empathy and where everyone is bent on pursuing opportunism instead of working to create opportunity? In other words, how do we determine when enough is truly enough? How do we create a more stable and less aggression-filled world? To answer these question, I suggest we start with the person we see daily in the mirror. But to sustain any effort toward progress in mitigating the effects of opportunism and greed we should ask, “What am I doing to prepare those who must continue to make these changes?”

The Great Communicator by Gilda Evans

Posted on by James North

Gilda EvansWhat makes a great communicator? President Ronald Reagan was known as “the great communicator.” Was it his skills as an actor or politician that afforded him this moniker? What are the qualities that help get your point across and make people take notice?

When people think about communicating, usually the first thing they think about is talking. In my opinion, talking comes second. The thing that really facilitates positive and productive communication is listening. Active listening, where you are truly paying attention to what the other person is saying. Also, listening with an open mind and keeping your ego in check go a long way towards creating a bridge rather than a moat. When you listen to someone you offer them a kind of validation, respect and consideration. And people who receive these things are more likely to give them in return. Even if you don’t agree with what the other person is saying, you can still respect their opinion and “agree to disagree” as the saying goes. Who knows? By the time the conversation ends you may find that your opinion has changed. But if you don’t hear what the other person is saying, how will you ever learn the things that change that opinion or, at the very least, be able to respond intelligently?

When the time does come to do the talking, remember that it’s not only what you say but also how you say it that often makes or breaks things. Your tone of voice, the words you choose and the way you couch them will make all the difference as to how they are received. Again, this is where keeping your ego out of the equation plays a vital role in the success of the conversation. Here are some guidelines that I feel make the communication process much easier:

  1. Never try to communicate in the heat of the moment. If you’ve just had an argument or if one of you is in a bad mood, continue the conversation at a later time. Unless it’s life or death, a few hours or even a day won’t matter.
  1. Never play the blame game. Pointing fingers never solved anything. Rather, seek solutions to the issue at hand.
  1. Be prepared to say, “I was wrong” and “I’m sorry”. There is no shame in that. On the contrary, it takes a very strong and confident person to make that kind of admission. And it’s amazing how much of a positive effect it has on the outcome of the situation.
  1. Offer opinions instead of judgments. Your way is not the only way. And someone else’s might be just as good or even better than yours.
  1. Express your feelings instead of your anger. If someone hurt you, tell him or her. Give them the chance to make amends. Giving them your anger will only make them defensive and shut all lines of communication down completely.
  1. Give advice if it’s asked for. Otherwise, inquire whether it’s wanted before you throw it out there. No one likes to feel bossed around.
  1. Use the words “please” and “thank you” a lot. Your mother always told you those were magic words. She was right.

That’s not to say you’ll never have an argument or that every conversation will go smoothly. But if you follow these few simple guidelines, I believe that your conversations will be more productive and positive, and arguments will be much fewer and further between.

About the Author:

Gilda Evans is an experienced wife, mother and bon vivant extraordinaire who started her first business while in college which she later sold to embark upon a career in entertainment. After nearly 15 years in the media, she willingly left behind her role as writer, producer and director at such venues as CBS, HBO Warner Brothers and Showtime in order to devote herself to her family. Later, while still in search of the ‘happily ever after’ that had eluded her, Gilda decided to share her experiences with followers on social media and the S’LIFE series was born. She is also working on the first installment of a Young Adult novel series.

Subscribe to Gilda’s Blog and Author Updates at www.gildaevans.com

Gilda is currently seeking high schools and organizations that are interested in participating in a pilot project for her book, S’LIFE, Slices of Life for Teens, prior to publication.

Links:

Official website: www.gildaevans.com

Other links:

www.Facebook.com/gildaevansauthor

www.Twitter.com/gildaevans

www.LinkedIn.com/in/gildaevans

www.Pinterest.com/gildaevans

Disclaimer: The views and opinions expressed in guest blog posts do not reflect those of the blog host.